So, I've been very annoyed that my camara charger "walked out of my house". It was very upsetting to not get any video footage of Happy's father because there wasn't enough charge on my battery. Four days... FOUR days we looked for that charger. Opened every bag, took out every single clothing item, unfolded it, inspected, and put back, with through every toy, blanket, box of medicine, EVERYTHING at least three times to make sure I was absolutely NOT losing my mind and that it was gone. Well. It was.
And then it showed back up on Wednesday, in a crate, on an obvious shelf, and in a location that we had dumped out, searched, reassembled, and dumped again about 3 times. I know how it got there. I haven't said a word. I am just grateful that it is back and am letting it be...
I was discussing this with a volunteer friend today as we ran some errands in town. I was telling her that I really haven't felt like the person who took it from me has been successful in taking too much. Because everytime I mention something is missing, and we tear the house up looking for it, it reappears in the exact spot that it should be and a spot I"ve looked and my housegirl has looked a million times over. But my volunteer friend reminded me of this:
There is a pressure on Tanzanians by OTHER Tanzanians to be unfaithful to their white, western employers. There is this perception, and rightly so, that white people have all the money and won't miss anything from their home, purse, car, whatever. And so the loyal Tanzanian workers for these westerners are torn between the pressure of their friends and family to "borrow" whatever is needed from the employers home and what they know is right--- which is leave it alone! I keep forgetting this fact. In truth, I will never know this type of pressure. And while I find it annoying to keep looking over my shoulder, the depth of poverty and struggle in this country is SO BEYOND what I will ever experience in my lifetime, that I must show a little compassion and let be those things which have been made right. And I am.
This week, the son of my housegirl has been struggling with a chest infection and in the last two days he has been vomiting. I gave her money and time off to take him to the hospital. She was short some cash for medicine and I paid for that too. In truth, it cost me under $20. You, my amazing friends have given me money as a one time gift or continue to put some in my account every month and I am SO grateful. Please know that in addition to helping me and Happy, you are also giving a 18 month old sick little boy some relief. I could take a hard line and say, "well, I pay my housegirl enough, she should be able to pay for this herself". But the truth is, I don't pay her enough. Its shameful what I pay her and yet I pay her better than the going rate. And she has made my life so much better in the last four months. And while she may struggle with the pressures that I mentioned above, I want my impression to her to be one of compassion. I don't have to be naive and vulnerable to being taken advantage of. But as a young mother, you will do anything you can for your child. And I think she is just trying to do that herself. Culture and environment are forcing her into decisions that she herself is obviously struggling with. Because I see her correcting her mistakes whenever she makes them. So I guess I need to take the kinder gentler approach and do for her what so many of you have done for me. And in doing so, I will remember that I have been imperfect, I have been guilty of wrongdoing, and I am still struggling with what is good and right. I deserve compassion and forgiveness as much as anyone else!
Anyway, that was a long approach to saying I can take pictures again! I'll post some soon. My friend Lauren is going to take some photos of me to capture this time of pregnancy since I don't really have any. Those photos also coming soon.
~Shae
3 comments:
Glad your camera will be working great again now.
Thanks for sharing about this struggle.
God always wants us to give like He gives. It is good to see ourselves in others like you have.
Oh my GOODNESS! My mother commented before me? That is unacceptable... :) Shae, you're such a stand-up person. I know having your things "misplaced" must be completely frustrating and annoying to you, but your understanding of circumstances beyond your control, and your kindness to and continual acceptance of your housegirl, even through her wrongdoings, makes you a better person than most. Reminds me of a familiar Bible story... I love you!
PS - Will you be able to visit Happy's father again in the future and take videos then? I hope so! Also, is there any chance you can get a small safe for your most valuable/needed items?
Unfortunately, stereotypes (about people of any color or nationality) do not come without some basis in fact. Your story about Tanzanian culture reminds me of a scene in the movie, "The Help" where one of the maids asks her comfortably settled white employer for a small loan to be used towards her son's education. As you may remember, she is refused the loan because her employer thinks she should be able to work for the money herself. To add insult to injury, this is supposed to be some kind of life lesson for her! Thank you, Shae for putting to shame this abhorent response and punching a whole in a picture of "whites" that deters the possibility of healthy relationships between races and nationalities in Tanzania. And along the way, you have provided a beautiful picture of the gospel of Christ.
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